is this time of the month or what ?

Maybe I should resume back to updating my blog. Maybe I should spend at least an hour of silence to myself each day. Its December. And the amount of post that I've written this year is far most the least. This has caused me to store almost everything to myself and I'm struggling very hard to get through things.

My busy life has kept me away from replying emails or sharing my life with my closest and probably that's the reason to why I just can't seem to open my mouth now. I have finally reach a point where all I really want to do is sit and cry it all out. Let the tears flow and wake up to a new tmrw. But there are so much ahead that is for me to face, I rather hide away.

I'm confused of my own feelings. Irritated by the world. Unsure of my own existence. I kept assuring myself that everything will be alright, that this is just part of the many stages in life but as days go by me, things just seem to worsen. Maybe what I really need is to get some air and find happiness in this world. I need directions. I need purposes. I need to find my true self.

Britney Spears LIVE in Perth

I must admit that my expectations were too high. You would have guessed my feedback out just by reading the news. Probably one of the reasons were, I was never a diehard fan of Britney, unlike my sister or my childhood friend back home. I admired her dance moves, not much of her singing. And the main reason why I attended her concert was for an experience since everyone tells how great she is.

There is a good and bad side of everything I suppose. My first impression, it would have been better if she interact more with her audience instead of just "HELLO PERTH ! How's it going ?" or if they would have projected her up on screen so that she can be focus on and everyone has a glimpse of her.



Well, I definitely saw her cause I was on the 4th row just after the standing area, but it was still far away for the camera to have clear images. And the lightings ! You just can't get a good picture. Really pity those people sitting high above us. They probably see a whole bunch of people dancing around and spend half the time guessing which is Britney.





I was pretty much disappointed to be honest. For 200AUD, I think I would have been happier spending it to do shopping. Then again, it was a great experience.

all done for the year

Finally, it is time to stop hibernating and start updating ! I NEED TO GET MY LIFE BACK INTO PLACE and I think that's my first aim. This entire year has been such a pain but when it was finally over today, I actually didn't feel overjoyed. I was just....TIRED. I am sleep deprived. My eye bags are horrible. I feel my whole self lack of confidence and joy. I just seem stressed out, dull and unmotivated.

I got home, checked the letter box to see if there's any mail to find a letter from the CEED office. A thank you and congratulations letter ending with the fact that I still have got to submit a few more pages together with a CD of my report and thesis to end things up. And I actually thought I got rid of them 2 weeks ago when my thesis was submitted !

An evaluation form to add things up and I had a quick look through: "Do you think this project is beneficial for you ?" Hmmm.... "Dear project, you have put me through a world year of ups and downs. Sometimes you put me so high up that I begin to believe in miracles. Sometimes, you bring my whole spirit down and throw me a whole lot of misunderstandings and disagreement. Sometimes, you just expect me to CHOOSE who's more important to listen to. Honestly, you have been a total PAIN ! But put all those away, you have given me an experience I never thought I would have as a uni student."

There's so many updates ! My trip to Jakarta back during winter which was awesome thanks to my dear friend, all the events here in Perth and my most recent -> Britney Spears live in Burswood Dome. Next up..............

little things in life....

they never fail to put a smile on my face.

I really need a hug

This is just one of the times when I feel TOTALLY low and all I want is to sit and cry and whine that everything is so bloody unfair !!!!!

I need comfort !

20 days in counting

I really need my precious sleep....

FREMANTLE

The last time I ever spoke bout Fremantle is probably a year ago when mum was here. Fremantle is just half an hour train ride or approximately 20 minutes by car from the city. The views and the ambiance just seem to attract me and if anyone were to ask where we should go for shopping, I say Fremantle !

we love food hopping !

derrick

Some find it weird how a city girl would find such a small town interesting when to them, there's nothing in Fremantle. Probably cause I'm bored of shopping centres. The usual One Utama and Mid Valley or Sunway Pyramid that I use to hang around ever weekend back home will not be able to beat Fremantle. At least that's what I think.



Fremantle has lil shops of their own, selling all sorts of things. They do have franchised shops but its the lil shops that attracts me. The fact that they actually have different things each makes them unique.

Gino's !
Best coffee according to David but they do not allow me to do a take away tiramisu latte ! Just cause it has alcohol content. =(

Rica !

time for some desserts !!

And if I were to bring Pelvin when he comes (YES ! HE IS COMING !) or my parents or sisters, the first place I would probably go to is Fremantle. I love the sceneries ! The coffee shops. The ice cream stalls. The flea market !! And to top it all up, the company. =)

tommy | rica | derrick

reality can be harsh sometimes

I AM ALMOST THERE !

I am done with my presentations !!! Probably the very last one in my entire student life ! It was hard. And it was not something I looked forward to. All the WHAT IFs. All the HOWs ? I have always been staged fright. And even during my last presentation in my diploma days, I do not think I did it well. This time, I can confidently say, I have done good ! =)

I felt nervous but once I've start talking, all eyes were on me, the confidence level starts building and I find myself talking as though I have mastered my entire project. HAHA. Yes. I should have known but before that I was still in denial. I was still unsure if I am doing the right thing.

School's Presentation

And for once in my life, I am experiencing speaking not just infront of a theater of students but also in a conference. I had my own conference paper, consisting of 6 pages which was distributed to everyone that attended the conference! With my name right at the very beginning, bold! That was really cool. =) The conference was pretty scarry as it was infront of a bunch of people who are about my dad's age and with the amount of years they have spend in the working world, I am pretty sure they are VERY aware of the words that are coming out of my mouth.


The best feeling when all was over was someone approaching me an telling me I have done well. The thumbs up and the smile on their faces, it just makes me feel relieved. After all the work I have done, all the time I have spend, 20 minutes was all it takes to gain someone's trust in what you have been doing this entire year. I had 3 whole days - 2 for School's presentations and the last for my conference. On the very last night, I actually felt happy and sad. Contented that it is finally going to end. But on the other hand, disappointed that after all that I have done, all the pressure I was put to, it was merely just 20 minutes. Of course the final product is my thesis.

My mentors from Synergy : Mark | Rhiannon
I will not be where I am today without your constant encouragement and support. THANK YOU !!!


CEED Conference

I am grateful to have been given this chance of taking up a real life project that has exposed me to the real working world. This project is not really my field, neither is it of my interest, therefore, I am proud to be where I am ! To still be standing here typing my thesis out, all ready for submission in a month's time.

Thank you for everything ADRIENNE !

Although it has been a very rough year, and despite complications in the project and the objections from those involved, I have learned. My knowledge is not just in the academic view but also in the working world. I have definitely screwed my studies because of the amount of time I spend in the office and the amount of pressure I am put through by these corporate people, no kidding, I have. Now that everything is over and all there is left is my thesis, I really need to push myself back.

It feels really hard ! I guess, that's why they say, when you are out in the working world, you just never want to go back to uni. It is just so different ! In the working world, you do not get a penalty for late submissions. There are no restrictions to the things you do. But in the academic world, every tiny winy bit is a matter of fact !



I hope I will be fine.....

Special thanks to my colleague from Synergy, Rhiannon Marchant. Although, Mark is known as my mentor and his name will always be upfront in my reports, papers and thesis, I still think my biggest appreciation extends to you. Thank you for the huge amount of time you spend with me just to make sure everything is alright. Even during the weekends, you have never failed to meet me in the library to get my things done. Thank you for being my biggest supporter in the conference ! I would never have done it so well without you. =) This entire year spend in this project has allowed me to meet people in the working world and one of them has became my all time friend who never fails to encourage me to keep moving on, to stay strong, and to remind me that this is the last time I will ever have to do such a thing. THANK YOU RHIANNON !